PMZ 070 – ★ I see, I wanted to be a dog.

Since we made a promise to be together, I’ve become closer to Alice in many ways. I’m happy to feel that I’m getting to know her better than before.

But at the same time, it’s been a test of my patience. A hunger that I have never felt before is eating away at my spirit every day.

For example, there was situation like this.

One day Alice asked me to practice a dance used exclusively between couples, which required me to hold her close.

I wonder, is it okay?

At first, I made a mistake and gave her a normal hug, but that was the okay part.

Alice put her arms around my shoulders and pulled me in, which turn my hug tighter.

I was confident that I will be okay with hugging, but when I actually tried it, it was… very soft and smelled so good.

I’ve never been this close to someone. If our everyday cuddling is healthy hug, I think this is an unhealthy one.

…Alice? dancing is something you did with a lot of people, right? did you did this with other people than me? Isn’t this kind of wrong?

“Isn’t this different from what you teach? I mean… isn’t this too close?”  

“Yes, this is a dance that is only allowed between couples or fiancées.”

What? There’s something like that?

“If you go out in a social gathering, you can’t do it with any woman but me.” 

And Alice!

With my heart rate racing, I put my hand on her back and put my other hand on top of it. She told me to put my cheek on hers, so I bent over towards her back and put my cheek on Alice’s.

At the words [only allowed between couples or fiancées.] got me riled up, I got carried away and tried to make lover’s bond with her palm.

To my surprise, Alice for allowed me to do that. I love this side of her.

But then I remembered that I wasn’t Alice’s first fiancé, and I wondered if she had done this with her previous fiancé.

I love her no matter what her past is, because she is who she is today because of it.

But naturally I do get jealous.

When I tried to express my jealousy in a slightly roundabout way, she replied that she had only ever held hands with her previous fiancé.

“I’m sure you’re the first person to touch me like this. Also, about th-that k-kiss… you were the first to do it to me, except for my parent’s kiss on my cheeks when I was a child.

I’m not going to let you get away with it anymore, no matter what.”

My heart began to pound in agony.

I wonder if there is any man who doesn’t get excited both physically and mentally when his favorite girl says something like this to him. No, there are none.

This is not good.

I pulled my body away a little forcefully, and asked Alice to turn and force her to end the hold.

I’m not going to do this anymore. Just no.

I couldn’t even look at her, because I was afraid she would attack me if I made eye contact with her, so I urged her to take a walk. I knew it would be dangerous for us to stay at home alone like this.

I wish Alice would be a little more aware of what I’m feeling.

I want her to be a little more aware of how attractive she is and how much I had to keep myself under control.

Later on, Alice and I ran into one of my former comrades, Ted the Toy poodle, on the street, He always surrounded by a herd of poodles, and that gave him this nickname.

I like dogs, too. I also like cats. They’re cute.

I never keep them myself because I will outlive them, it’s hard to think that someday I need to say goodbye, but I love petting Ted’s poodles and the stray cats that live around here.

When I looked closely, I saw one of the smallest ones in the pack that still looked like a puppy.

Did the number increase again…?

Alice’s face broke into a smile when she noticed it, and with the owner’s permission, she gently picked up the little one.

“Fufu, cute”

(She) Really cute.

I want it. I want to be a dog.

I’ve always wanted to own a dog, but this is the first time I’ve ever wanted to be one.

As I watched Alice holding and petting the puppy, I asked Ted what the newcomer’s name was.

“Wafers.”

“Another snack-like name. Ted, you need to think more about it.” 

Chocolates, cookies, macaroons, that it always something like that.

I don’t think any of those names should be given by a 190cm+ tall muscle guy. It’s cute, though.

“This is nothing. I think it’s much more embarrassing to put a name on a vehicle. What was it called again? [Alice]?” 

What? Don’t tell her!

“I’m not the one who gives it a name.” 

“Yeah-yeah, so today is your day off? You didn’t go hunting?”  

I’m grateful he let the topic go…

That’s right. The purpose of today’s walk is to inform the people I know that I will be away for a while.

Usually, I won’t bother to do this, but since this matter also connected with Alice, I need to make sure people know about it in case, people thought she goes missing or else some weird rumor might start.

“About that… I’m going to be away for a while, so I thought to give you all some heads up.”  

“Huh? Are you going to go on an expedition?”  

“You could say that, in short, I decided to take up the knighthood, so yeah.”  

“…Really?” 

“I thought about it a lot, and I thought it was the best thing to do. …But it’s not like I’m going to be big-shot or something, so please treat me just the same.” 

“You already a big shot without that, well I have the feeling that you will become one someday. 

It’s a relief. Now I don’t have to think that you and I can be equal.” 

“that’s…” 

” I hate myself when I’m with you. …… Well, that was a story of the past. We’ll do our best in our way, and you’ll do yours. 

…also, I’m sorry about Lav. I wasn’t able to protect her.” 

“… I’m just glad no one died.” 

I’m also glad you’re okay too, though I won’t say it.

We may walk on separate path, but we’ll always be friends, that’s what I choose believe.

Then, Ted started to wrap himself around the leash he was holding.

Wafer-chan is running around him, complaining about something. It must be snack time.

“Hmm? Hungry? Let’s have a snack, shall we?”  

He pulls out a bag of dog cookies and hands us some.

“I’m sorry, but Wafer-chan is being disciplined right now, so I need to take some time. In the meantime, can you help me feed everyone else?” 

“Yes. Can we feed them one by one?” 

“sure”  

With that, Ted took Wafer-chan a short distance away, sat him down, showed him the cookie, and ordered him to wait.

In the meantime, Alice and I fed the cookies to Chocolate, Cookie, Macaron, Biscuit, Nut and Cocoa.

They all look so happy, I like this.

“Wait. Sit!”  

Ted held down the rampaging wafer and pulled the cookie away from his nose. Wafer-chan whimpered and struggled to move his arms and legs, trying to get a the snack.

I could feel the hunger in his eyes.

I know that feeling.

I know that feeling so well that it hurts.

To be precise, I see myself in him.

I can’t watch this anymore! Forgive me! But give her a break!

“Ted! You don’t know how terrible you are? It’s tough to endure when there’s something to eat right in front of you! Don’t you feel sorry for it?” 

Ted freaked out and retorted back.

“Why are you so mad? I mean, you’ve helped me discipline them before! What’s up with you?” 

“Just let him eat!”  

I didn’t understand dog feeling back then, that’s why I didn’t know that “wait” can be so agonizing.

I really didn’t know that, and I’m sorry for laughing at them when they rushed to the treats and called you cute, once again I’m sorry, chocolate, macaroon, and everyone else …….　

“What’s up with you?… weird guy. What? Oh, Wafer-chan? yes, you can eat now.”

Finally, he is allowed to eat the cookie and started to gobble it.

I’m happy for you.

And I envy you.

As a human, I can’t go on a rampage like that.

But the best way to get what you want as quickly as possible is to listen to your owner, I thought as I left Ted and continued my walk.

Suddenly, Alice stops in front of a candy store and pulls me along.

Alice likes sweets. I think girls who like sweets are really cute.

I wonder what she’s going to buy.

As I watched silently, she asked me in front of a shelf of cookies of various shapes.

“Which shape do you like?”

What? I’ll be the one to choose?

“You can choose the one you like…”

She didn’t hesitate to choose the horn-shaped one and went to pay the bill.

When she finished her shopping and left the store, she presented me with a horn-shaped cookie and said, “here, aaaaah”

It’s for me?

You bought them for me? You bought me this horn-shaped cookie?

I was so shocked that I crouched down and held my head in my hands.

It’s true that I envied the poodles, but that’s not the point, Alice, I’m not hungry…

Alice crouched down too and took one of the cookies she had just bought out of the bag and brought it close to my mouth.

“Here you go.”

I thought to myself, [What the owner says is absolute.] With that in mind, I took a bite of the biscuit, strangely, I was not in a bad mood. This is not bad at all.

That’s right, I was thinking earlier that I wanted to be a dog.

Then I remember my dad word when he was alive.

He said that wishes can come true.

You were right, Dad.

“Woof.”

My owner didn’t hold me, but she smiled and patted my head.

I’m happy.

Today, I became a dog.

TL Note:

This going to be long rant, I will put it on the news.